How do I define thee? This is a moment when time stops. My kids ask me for the meaning of a difficult word and my mind locks up. I think and I think and I am coming up empty, the answer right on the tip of my tongue. “Gee. Hmmm. Well…that’s a toughie.” I know it in my heart but I just can’t quite pull it off with Webster quality. I am stuck.
About a year ago, my kids threw me a definition curve ball: “What does ironic mean?” My family and I were driving back from San Francisco when the parents were put into the dictionary hot seat. My husband and I looked at each other a little stunned. I don’t know why this word is so esoteric for me, but I really find it difficult to put it into words. Instead, I think anecdotally.
After a few seconds of consideration, the light bulb in my head illuminated. I got so excited. I know the perfect song to explain irony to them. I feel very hip and clever with my idea, despite the fact I can’t roll out a response in my own words. For that, I am not clever enough; I am ironic and don’t know it.
“Guys. I know this really cool song all about irony. It’s called ‘Ironic’ and it’s by one of my favorite singers, Alanis Morissette.”
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| Me Singing |
I started singing some of the lines of the song.
“…it’s a free ride, when you already paid. …it’s 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife….” The lyrics are a little out of sync if you are familiar with the song, but it’s all I can come up with on the fly.
“Ok, so do you get it?”
“No,” they state flatly and stare out the window.
“Ok, when we get home. I’m going to play the whole song for you and then you’ll really get it.” I am not giving up easily. I really believe I can get through to them, eek out an “aha” moment.
With the stereo blaring and my kids just staring…I try to snap my fingers, sing a long a little bit. “Ok, now I’m sure you get it.” I’m searching their eyes for a glimmer, a real connection.
“Eh maybe.” They slinked away; just wanting to drop the subject and carry on, forget they ever asked.
We did forget about it until about a month ago, I’m with my youngest son in the car. A song comes on the radio we’ve never heard: “Favorite Song” by Colbie Caillat. The lyrics go something like this: “I wanna be your favorite song. Play it all day long…”
My son blurts out, “Well that’s ironic.” Bingo! But how did he know it? Osmosis? Alanis Morissette?
I shared this major break-through with my husband when we got home. The boys were near, listening in because we are talking about them; the only time they truly hear us. They couldn’t resist jumping into the conversation.
“Ahh. Ironic. That’s easy,” says my thirteen-year-old. Really now.
“How do you know what it means? Where did you learn it?” I ask.
“Oh you probably told us or something, like when it was happening.” You bet! Alanis Morissette, I’m sure of it!
My youngest pipes up. “Yeah Mom. You learn irony through irony. Hey! Why are you asking? Are you blogging?” The thought crossed my mind. Am I that transparent?
In fact, looking up the definition of irony for this post, I ran into a roadblock, an ironic one, ironically. I “googled” irony and the search failed. The bottomless answer-giver couldn’t deliver. And when I finally did get an online definition, I took a shortcut and looked at the synonym: wit.
Now, that I find ironic. I think they are completely the opposite, wit and irony. I cannot track this logic unless you are ironic on purpose, then you are witty. I find the more I try to define “ironic” the more ironic I become, less intelligent and not witty! It’s a vicious circle.
Is trying to understand irony like trying to understand God? Can you really put either word into simple words? For me, it’s a mind twister. If I think too hard about it I start doubting or grow more confused. It’s best to not delve too deep.
Wow. If you ever wondered why God put kids on earth, here’s a possibility: To teach us a lesson while we are teaching someone else a lesson. “A tow truck towing a tow truck,” my youngest explained to me while trying to define ironic in our earlier conversation. (He heard it on a comedy show. And he knew how to use it, clever guy.) Now we all get it. If that is God’s plan, it’s ironic. And, it’s witty.
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kids are our greatest teachers… and just when we think we're SOOOO clever.
Great blog topic!
Glad you enjoyed it! Had a blast putting it together.
It happens all the time, those little buggers!;-)