Sweet and snarky. LOL. Gift from a friend.<3
After twenty-six years of cultivating and growing a community of friends, how do you just leave that? My network of buddies could help me with anything, a Rolodex of advisers and fixers. Without our boys, or a dog, or PTA, how do we start over? That’s a question I asked of a couple of friends in a similar situation. They both said we’ll be fine. And we are, but….
Before we left, I stayed in the moment and enjoyed all my friendships. It was exhausting, but I knew it would be a while before I’d see them again. Some very good times were had every night before we left, partying like a rock star. We had dinner with neighbors, after-pickleball drinks, and a lot more drinks. DANG! In those moments, we all said, “Why didn’t we do this sooner?” There’s a life lesson in there: Don’t wait for a reason to have a gathering, just do it.
I’ll never forget that one night…
Hubby has a small group of cycling buds that were really hard to leave. It was tough for me to see him leaving them. One of his friends helped us pack up our bikes into hard cases to keep them safe on their cross-country trek without us. When Hubby hugged that guy goodbye,
Thank god! I couldn’t do this.
Best buds.
it was all I could do to stop a sob from spilling out of me. I only got weepy twice and it was over leaving Hubby’s friends and the last time I saw our part-time kitty-cat, OJ. Not that I wasn’t boohooing over the loss of my friends too, but I chose to block the Debbie Downer thoughts or I wouldn’t enjoy the good times. Eyes forward.
Need a cat pic. Precious!
Now that we’re here, we’re hitting the ground running. My plan was to plaster myself all over everywhere, mainly pickleball. Hubby joined a cycling group. We knew before moving here, Cary has a ton of cycling and pickleball, like a lot, a lot, a lot. A LOT!
I started with a pickleball class because I figured I’d make at least one friend and get the skinny on the pickleball scene. My very first friend in the group, totally understood my situation and recommended a meetup app. I’ve met a ton of people and love it! I play four times a week. The people are welcoming and mostly from somewhere else, like me. We got an invite to a “cookout” that hasn’t happened yet, but wow, an almost on the social calendar!
Hubby joined a couple of club rides. The level of interest is insane compared to Lamorinda. On a Tuesday, at 6:30 pm there could be 70 riders. On. A. Tuesday. Saturdays are the same. Weekend rides start and stop at a brewery so beers can close out the day. In the first seven weeks, I drove Hubby to his ride, then headed over to pickleball. I met him afterward for the fun part, a beer We loved this schedule. I got to know his friends and local beer. I haven’t started riding yet as my vision was on the fritz and fixed now, but that’s a whole other story.
In our new neighborhood, I will be living four doors down from one of my new pickleball friends. The planets were aligned, as this was just by chance, or was it? She introduced me via text to another neighbor that was more than happy to go on a walk around our HOA community because HOAs are a thing here. Along the way, we ran into another neighbor watering her lawn with one of those rainbow sprinklers because automatic sprinklers are not a thing here as it rains in the summertime. Shock! The two set a date for an end-of-summer party. I have a social calendar! My new buddy is working on setting up an empty-nester group too. The subdivision is small so it makes it easier to coordinate events.
People are friendly here! I cannot emphasize that enough. We’ve had two nights where we chatted up with strangers at the bar and had a blast. I explained to one of my native North Carolina pickleball pals how this would never happen, or rarely, in Cali. Her response:
“I don’t know any strangers.” Mic drop.
We love CARY!
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Beautifully written, Francie! You capture the very push-pull of leaving the known, and heading to the unknown … the blend of goodbyes and new beginnings on multiple levels.
I love how you’re embracing this new adventure!
Oh Alicia! Thank you for your kind words and taking the time to reply. I love that we’re still connecting, albeit virtually. You know better than anyone, the fits and starts of beginning a new life after establishing yourself into the last “new” place.I could learn from you!
I’m following your adventures, Francie, although don’t always comment. One thing that’s always been in the back of my mind is that people are not friendly once they hear you’re from California. I’d have that fear of rejection based solely on that, probably because I’ve heard it from others who’ve left. But that doesn’t seem to be true in North Carolina!
Hey Kristina! No, the Raleigh area, being from California is not a stigma. The first time I told someone we were from California, it was fake coughing so maybe they wouldn’t hear me. I expected a dig, a shun. Nope. “Oh what part?” There are so many people here from somewhere else that it’s not like the outsiders are taking over, especially Cary: Contained Area for Relocated Yankees. LOL.Seriously, even the ones who have lived here forever don’t care. They’re curious because most have never been to California. I sense another post topic…
I’m so glad that things are coming together for you and Tony…new home, new friends, pickleball, and cycling…Yay! Can’t wait to read your next post.
Thanks Cathy! So far so good.
Found a house..check. Found new friends…check. Found new groups of peeps….check. Good food good fun…check. I love the south, nobody knows a stranger !!
The North Carolina south is good for sure!
Francie!
This is so fun to read. I do admire you and Tony for making the move. It’ll keep you young and fresh in mind and spirit! 🙂
Erika! So nice to see you here! I’m glad it’s of interest. It’s a weird time where people are trying to figure out next steps. Thanks for letting me know you’re enjoying the ride.
Thank you for all the fun, upbeat anecdotes of your move to Carey. Seeing you move is encouraging to us as we are contemplating moving to Washington to be closer to Todd’s family. We are on the slow track! Continue to keep us posted on how you are doing.
We still have fond memories of spending many Easters at your house.
Big hugs to you and Tony.
Oh Catherine, I love those Easters…treasure hunts in the rain and pop tarts! We miss our friends and happy to show you our unpredictable road map to get there.
A sweet and honest post! We miss you!
I love seeing your name pop up in comments. It’s like the old days, a loyal follower. Miss you too!
I am Glad it is going well. I love your posts!
Oh thank you Julie. Sometimes I wonder if the move is getting old. But we’ve accomplished a lot in just three months. It’s hard to keep it straight. So much to say!!!