In two days, I gave my brother and his wife the San Francisco 101 tour. We rode the cable car, visited the fortune cookie factory and Alcatraz. We ate our way through the Ferry building grabbing Vietnamese noodle bowls and fancy cheeses and bread.

We got the coveted picture in front of the Golden Gate Bridge and drove down the most crooked street in the world, Lombard. We drove up and down super steep hills that make any snow-state driver wonder how the city would survive in a snowstorm; it wouldn’t.

A new “site” in San Francisco

In Chinatown, we met Jackie Chan 2. He was our favorite part of the tour, not listed in any guidebook or top ten list of things to see in San Francisco.

I was leading the charge, trying to find a fish market in Chinatown. Most people never see how the fish they eat is taken from whole to fillet at a really good price. I was walking very fast, trying to cram as many sites into a day as possible. My brother and his wife ten paces behind, called my name.

I turned around to find them chatting it up with an old man, all of about five feet tall. He dressed entirely in black, including a puffer vest with a Gary Danko logo, one of the best restaurants in the City. He asked which fish market I was looking for and chided me for walking too quickly, passing up opportunities. “You Missed IT!”

He directed me to shop only on Stockton Street and never cross into Little Italy where the prices are higher. I tried to tell him I know a little bit about shopping in Chinatown, as my husband is Chinese and shopped here on occasion.

He pointed to his teeth. “You have sweet tooth?”

“Sometimes,” I replied.

He led my crew and me to a bakery. He suggested buying the melon cakes, aka wife cake. I bought three, one for each. Jackie Chan 2 got a little rattled because the husband buys it for the wife.

“I’m not kidding. Take a picture. Anyone will tell you it really is wife cake.” He said.

Wife Cake

I took a picture and gave him a $5 bill to pay for three cakes. I asked him if I could get him anything. He shook his head no and “expertly” slid the $1.25 in change into his pocket. He’s been through this before. We chuckled.

He gave us his email address in case we wanted his help next time. “You tell me you the one in a hurry. I remember you.”

Then he made us all repeat his email address. That’s how we found out he is Jackie Chan 2. I was the only one to remember.

“Ha! You have higher IQ. You lead. Fish market one block down.” He knew exactly where I wanted to go the whole time.