I hate cleaning closets. I hate it when I can’t find anything in my closet because it’s stuffed with stuff. I hate making decisions about what to donate. I feel like I get it wrong and no sooner do I toss something I want/need it. I am living in a vicious circle. I want the latest fashions but I can’t part with the old-yet-perfectly-good clothes already hanging in my closet.

My need to hold on to dated clothing came from growing up with depression-era parents. Being fifth in line meant I wore a lot of hand-me-downs. A nine-year difference between my older sister and I, spelled certain fashion disaster. I still remember a pair of built-for-curves mauve pants with sixties brown, sky-blue and white daisies. The darn things never fit my boyish figure and I don’t think they fit the sisters before me either, hence the mint condition. How can anyone give away a perfectly good pair of pants, even after a decade? Nowadays, it seems fashion changes faster than cell phone technology; I like to be current AND practical. It’s no wonder I’m in a quandary.

I stumbled upon a partial solution via conflict avoidance, aka laziness. Last year I invested in a fall wardrobe update. I kind of went to town and found a lot of pieces for my pieced-out closet. To make room for the fashion-finds, I cleared out the summer gear and ignored anything wintery from seasons past; it all stayed in storage under my bed. I couldn’t face the laborious task of ironing and hanging up each item or worse, rejecting anything. I was fine with my small number of choices and wore all the items frequently—able to mix and match without tantrum nor utterance of “I have nothing to wear!”

Makes closet-cleaning so easy!

Cooler weather is back. It’s time to take the winter collection out of hibernation. I was determined to only bring back the items I really loved. What seemed like hard choices a year ago, were now easy. I threw out a cream turtleneck sweater with pleasure; five years of playing the practical card was enough. I never felt practical so I never wore it. I quickly tossed a couple of good-deal sweaters after one season; cheap doesn’t feel good ever, even if I wear it to pull weeds. Any boring or aged item got the old Goodwill sack.

Bury me in it.

On the other hand, there were items I couldn’t wait to dig out. Where is that burgundy, Audrey-Hepburn-like sweatshirt from Target? Love that thing! And where is the belted, ¾ length sleeve sweater coat, stamped with ‘50s flare? About 10 items, older than one year, made my favorites list and the rest went out with the spent sneaks and faded tops.

Does retro ever date?

My laziness paid off. (I like it when this happens. Wish it worked for the gym.) Holding my old winter items for another year created a storage purgatory. The items were half way between heaven, my closet, and H-E-double-hockey-stick, NOT in my closet. Whatever separation-anxiety I feared was non-existent. I felt liberated and smart with my new system. But then, I threw out something I promptly retrieved.

Costume parties or special events can trigger a recall item faster than a mom catching her kid’s vomit. You know what I mean; it’s innate behavior. I wore a swanky dress for a costume party. I needed to be smooth in all the right places. I was ready to toss a 10-year-old smoothing miracle undergarment because I just didn’t need it—until that moment. (Occasion-short not fitness-fit.) I ripped open the trash bag of for-sure giveaways so I could look my most star-esque. I wasn’t going to invest in the current miracle-thinner: SPANX. I’d rather spend my money on a new fashion top or shoe if I’m going to spend. This is not the “need” I wanted.  I needed to create a costume purgatory too.

Given my latest clothing-conflict experiences, I’ve come up with a closet-cleaning strategy:

Keepers: If I love it and can see myself happy wearing it, it stays.

Losers: If I am sick of it, I ditch it. My gut literally tightens at the thought of putting on a top I keep just because it’s in good condition.

Conflicted: If I need time to think, like a trial break-up, I send it to storage purgatory. Let the monsters under my bed watch over them instead.

Costume: If I think it’s fit for a Halloween or theme party: costume bin. You just never know when an invite for a Hawaiian-themed bat mitzvah or Chinese wedding is going to crop up.

Any other suggestions?

Psst!  Are you sick of seeing the same old sweater on a friend, year after year? Help her out: Share the shoezle.  Click the email or facebook button above, right.