Mean? Remember Guys?

Meanie Head Mom is back.  She is forcing her boys to watch a movie, in the theatre with popcorn.  It’s a day before the Academy Awards and Lincoln is the only movie mom has not seen of the Best Picture line-up.  She calls the movie Stinkin’ Lincoln because she’s tried to see it on so many occasions and it falls through.  For some reason she can’t fit it into her stinkin‘ schedule.   She was determined to see it and not alone.  She went for a twofer:  See the movie with the family, slip in a little culture for the guys.

A lot of boy things happen around her house.  Mostly she doesn’t mind as that is the breaks in a house filled with testosterone.  Besides, she kind of likes the active, outdoor adventures.  But sometimes she feels a little forgotten and must interject a little softer side.  Femininity is not an easy sell, so she tries to make the choice obvious.  Make them think they got the better deal.

Mom’s ticket.

With a ten-minute warning, mom offered up Stinkin’ Lincoln or a mani-pedi.  “How long is a mani-pedi?” asked the youngest son, the tween.  “An hour,” she tells him.  “You have to get one too.”  “I’ll do that one.”  Crap!  This was not going well.  It’s not like she asked him to eat spinach.  She picked something worse than spinach, or so she thought.  She needed to act fast.  She resorted to the parental dictatorship strategy.  “You don’t really want a mani-pedi.  You are coming to the movies with the rest of us.”

Tween stomped all the way to the car.  “This movie is educational isn’t it?”  A few minutes later,  “How many awards did this movie get?  The more it gets the worse it is for young adults.”  He drones on.  “When do we get dinner?  Can we sneak in Chipotle?”  He’s making a real stink.  What is it about this movie?

On the drive into the parking lot, a few kids walking with their parents pass by.  Mom exclaims, “Look!  Those boys are going to Lincoln too!”  “Oh no they’re not.  They are going to see something cool,” says Tween.  Once in the theatre, she gloats, “See, they are here.”  She was genuinely surprised but wanted to lighten the mood, show she wasn’t really a Meanie Head Mom or maybe not the only Meanie Head Mom.

The movie begins and it’s graphic, bloody and violent.  It looks like it’s off to a great start, for a guy.  Then it is dialogue, dialogue and dialogue.  The talk is formal, old-fashioned and difficult to follow.  It’s S-L-O-W.   Mom wasn’t sure she wanted to be in there.   She can feel herself eating crow.  The movie picks up and holds mom’s interest to the end.  It was good, not great.

Afterward, mom asked if her boys caught up on their sleep.  “Ah, ye-ah.  I took like eight naps,” her oldest son flippantly replied.  Mom asked their thoughts on the film.  For both, the first three minutes were the best with all the blood, guts and gore.  Then Tween was aghast at the scene following the blood.  An American flag with all fifty stars stood next to Lincoln during one of his speeches.  Later, the flag for the time reflected the appropriate number of stars, thirty-five.  Stephen Speilberg might do well to ask a twelve-year-old to watch the film, one that won’t give a rip about what Lincoln says and only looks at props.  Mom is modestly proud at Tween’s recollection of Civil War history.  “Hmm.  He’s paying attention to something!”

What’s not to love about Dad!?

Over dinner, there was more commentary on the movie.  Teen mentioned his shock and surprise at Lincoln’s admission to hating his father.  He looked at Dad like, “Can you believe that guy?  That’d be like me hating you!  Not happening.”  They both liked the supporting actor’s performance, Tommy Lee Jones, and his portrayal of Thaddeus Stevens.  He was a smart-ass character they could relate to for some reason.  And the highlight of the night, “Hey did anyone notice I farted really loud?” asked Teen.   The boys crack up and mom groans.  She heard.  Now somebody else is making a stink.   What’s that expression? “You can take the boy out of the country but you can’t take the country out of the boy.”  Boys will be boys wherever they go.

The guys didn’t like Lincoln any better after having seen the movie.  The whole family thought it would be more about the president’s life.   The sentiments seemed to match the Academy’s.  Lincoln won only two awards of the twelve nominations.  Good but not great.  As for Meanie Head Mom, she got what she wanted.  She went to the movies with someone and she exposed her boys to something entirely outside of their world.  That’s good and great!